Monday, 28 July 2014

OOTD: From City To Beach

A casual night out with my boyfriend, best friend and her boyfriend. Boy was it hot! This translucent maxi skirt was perfect to keep cool and not show off too much skin! This simple look is enhanced with a seriously beachy statement necklace.

Skirt: Primark
Shoes: Zara
Necklace: Market in Greece

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Stupid things people say to people with depression

I've been seeing a therapist for the last two months now following my battle with depression.  After my last post on the subject, I’ve come to realise that there are a lot of myths and misconceptions about depression.  Most of the misconceptions come from a lack of education on the subject.  In addition to depression being misunderstood there is also a stigma attached to it, which tends to turn some people into judgemental know it all's.  The only way to change the way people think about it is to talk about it.
I’ve heard all these comments come from the mouths of people who I have shared my struggles with.  I know that they all mean well but unless you yourself have been there (or helped someone who has) it’s hard to understand what people are going through.  

These classic responses are all comments I have dealt with and please take heed when I say, these are things that you should not say to your loved one who is depressed.
 You just need to snap out of it.”  
Nobody chooses to be depressed! Depression is not a choice any more than diabetes or arthritis is a choice.  And just like diabetics and people with arthritis can not “snap out of it” neither can people who are depressed.  It is no different than many physical illnesses in that it has genetic and biological reasons for it.  Trust me if we could get to cloud nine we would be there!
“You’re just being selfish.  Life isn’t about being happy all the time.”
Again, depression is not a choice.  People don’t become depressed because they are unhappy with their life.  Well, I suppose some people do, but the majority of people have actual biological reasons for their depression.  I don’t expect my life to be perfect and without any struggles.  Please don’t make assumptions about someone’s character or the reasons for their depression.   

“But you don’t have anything to be depressed about.”
No, I really don’t.  I had a great childhood.  I have loving parents.  My boyfriend loves me unconditionally and I have the most beautiful pug in the world. I really don’t have anything to be depressed about.  And yet, it is something that I deal with every day and on that note who do you think you are to judge anyone this way?

"We all struggle! If I can cope, what's your problem?"

This one really grinds my gears. Don't be so self righteous about it... You may have no idea what is happening in someone else's life. Please don't be so quick to judge the degree of strength another person has when they confide and trust in you enough to share something that can sometimes be embarrassing.

One more thing guys. We are building ourselves up from scratch and the best thing you can do is this. 

Show us endless patients
Wipe away our tears
Remind us of your love with lots of cuddles

This sums it up beautifully...

Saturday, 12 July 2014

Subconscious Positive Steps Towards Beating Depression: My Experience

"My focus is everywhere. I just can't consentrate. All I do is sleep!"
All I was able to do was sleep, get myself to work and make sure I was eating right. I became part of the social team at my local Slimming world.

"I can't face the housework, it's just too much!"
Still I was deeply unhappy. My family was all around me but I felt utterly alone. Until I spoke to my mum. We never had the best relationship but she would come over and help me clean my house. We got a lot closer.

"The only one that truely loves me is my dog!"
I made sure my beautiful pug puppy would get walked daily. He was so beautiful and loved me even when I cried. By walking him twice a day I became fitter and more motivated. It was around this time began hairdressing again. Doing only mobile and fitting it around my eating plan and walking my dog. I then got my acceptance letter from university and I began writing my blog again.

At this stage I began to experience happy days. This didn't happen all the time. I was more often then not on edge and nervous. Constantly worrying about money, my relationship the state of my life. However positivity started to creep back into my life. I look back on all the small things I have achieved without realising during this miserable time, becoming part of a social team, building a better relationship with my mum, getting into university and starting my own business.

We are quick to forget our own achievements, however they are there. A glowing representation of what wonderful people we are and how hard we work. Even if it is just the little things. They count too and sometimes more!

Those who are suffering, I know you feel truely rotten and that your no good. Please remember what you have achieved so far! Even if it is just that you got up the courage to leave your bed! When you are hurting as you are that is quite a big achievement indeed!

Thank You

Thursday, 10 July 2014

Don't Let Depression Manifest!: My Experience

Recently I have been struggling. Although I feel I'm at the end of my struggle, this needs to be shared as I don't want anyone to make the same mistake I didIt is hard for me to admit this to myself. Let alone others. I'm just going to type. 

I suffer with depression anxiety. This is a generalised term for what it actually means. Society has a negative stigma towards mental health which really needs addressing. However through these negative reactions and disbelief towards my problem it became worse. I felt I was wrong. It couldn't be everyone else. There must be something wrong with me! 

Denial makes the situation worse. What you are feeling is real accept it!

"How can I accept it? If this is true then I'm weak. I don't deserve positivity.  I've succumbed to my thoughts. It must all just be in my head. I must try harder. Everyone else can do it. If I ignore it, it will go away."

Really it won't just go away.

It will just manifest until one day your Boss decides, "I can't be bothered with your excuses anymore if you want to leave, you know where the door is." And you turn around, unsure what has just happened. Leave, thinking you've ruined your life because you can't control your emotions. This is not true! You were being stifled. Suffocated by the complete bullshit that people tell you to cope with their own shit that they are dealing with. 
It is hard to concentrate on building yourself up again when bills still have to be paid and housework still has to be done.

Your NOT being selfish.

You need this time to figure things out. If the washing doesn't get done, it's OK. Sometimes it takes all our effort just to get ourselves to work. That's OK! This won't get better over night.

Just take it one step at a time.

One month off work, no money, no hope.
"I can't go back to hairdressing. I'm useless. What can I do with my life?"
I applied to university and got a part time bar job. I also began to see a Therapist.
"How embarrassing, I don't need to see a therapist. I'm just having a change in career."
After my first session with the therapist. I thought, actually maybe this is real but I feel to shit to do anything about it.

Eureka! You may feel worse then ever but now you have a fixable problem!

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

The Buzz Gallery: A short Review

My favourite pieces by Melanie Anderson (felt artwork)

I've been inspired!!! Desperate to get the paints out, this beautiful Gallery has given me the push I need to rekindle my love with the paint brush.

In the sleepy village of Castle Donington, on the edge of Derbyshire, The Buzz Gallery was opened! A hubbub of activity has now developed on the main street of the village.

The Apiary Cafe Bar

Above the beautiful music cafe and bar, The Apiary, the lovely Melanie Anderson is putting the heart back into art. As an already accomplished artist, she has gathered together a collection of unique and varied pieces that would make a beautiful point of interest to any room. From art and craft classes to bespoke jewellery, The Buzz Gallery is a welcomed addition to Castle Doningtons ever growing stylist market street.

The lovely Melanie follow her on Twitter to see more of her and her art!

Here is some of the wonderful varied art work displayed at The Buzz Gallery!

Jewellery by Judith Brown

Designer Guild Cushions by Deb Swift

Oil work by Niki Cotton

Art work by Joanne Reay

Needle felt by Helen Rhodes