Monday, 18 August 2014

The Robin Williams Post

Personal Message: I wanted to post this sooner but I just couldn't find the words till now...
On the 12th August 2014 the news of Robin Williams death was a real blow for me and the rest of the world. I grieved for his family as I read the touching tweet, “Genie your Free” from the Academy. I thought long and hard about his, others and my own life journey whilst coping with depression. Social Media was alive with thoughts, messages and views from all angles and today I would like to share with my readers a few comments along with my own.

I am reminded of another great man who suffers daily with this condition. "Depression is as real as the weather…it’s all about a kind of mental umbrella. 'Hey-ho, it’s raining inside: it isn’t my fault and there’s nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage.'”  Stephen Fry

It was amazing to see all the comments and people talking about their experiences with depression, (some the first time) it became almost comforting to know I was not alone and although the circumstances where tragic, I couldn't help but think it was a step in the right direction.
Yes there was still the odd comment of “this is just a distraction from what’s going on the the real world” (anon) and “suicide is a cowardly act” (anon). Trust me, I myself used to share these opinions and until you yourself or a loved one suffers this horrendous illness, you have no idea how one tiny event or circumstance shuts down the logical part of your mind and traps you in a darkened room from which there is no escape. So I ask you all, please hold your judgement's, listen with tolerance and understanding. For it is these kinds of options that stop people asking for the help they need. Jason Maford reminds us of the analogy from Watchmen:-

“Man goes to Doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, “Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. Says “But doctor... I am Pagliacco.”

The happiest person who greets you with a smile every day, who is full of fun and life maybe holding something back.

I have been trying to document my experiences on this issue since I began my journey with depression because "No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world." Robin Williams. I urge others to read them, if only to gain understand, insight or to discover you are not alone in your struggle. Links will be left below:-


Before I leave you with the important words from Jason Manford, let me just say again and again...
You are loved and important to this world. Even if you don't think so, you are!

If you feel alone and down, anxious and low. If you feel deep sadness but can't find a root cause. If people tell you to 'snap out of it' or 'things can only get better' or 'what doesn't kill you makes you strong', know that it's simply not always true. Sometimes it does kill you.
Please. Ask for help. If you have no one or if you don't want to tell them yet, then ring Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 for someone to talk to, or talk to your GP.
The world needs you even more then you think, it does. I promise, we need you here, now. 
Jason Manford

In memory of a wonderful man...

Sunday, 3 August 2014

My first experience with Reiki: Alternative healing

Can I firstly say I had no idea what I was getting myself into...
I had had two therapy sessions and felt the techniques just weren't working. Not that they weren't working, I know they don't fix you over night but the exercises just seemed to overwhelming to even start to tackle. I was recommended Reiki as an alternative therapy. I had heard of this once before but never really gave it a second thought. However I also felt desperate, frustrated even. I felt like I was on the brink of a break through with no way of actually breaking through.

I stumbled across a Reiki taster and tea session and booked myself in.  As I walked through the door on a stifling hot day. The smell of incense filled the air. "Oh god" I thought "Am I in over my head?" I sat down and the practitioner Julie began to explain about the healing powers of Angelic Reiki (the form of Reiki I was receiving that day) and how the energy flows through her from the higher powers of angels and if I'm drawn to a crystal pick it up. "This is all a bit hippy" I thought "Try and keep an open mind" I said to myself.

Mystical World Store where I have my Reiki sessions. CLICK HERE for their facebook page and discover alternative practices.

I kept my eye on one crystal as she began. I liked the shape and the white glow of it. However I was far to nervous to pick it up so I shut my eyes. She lit white spirit sage and cleansed the area. It reminded me of all those shows I used to watch as a teen (mainly Buffy the Vampire Slayer) "Is this for real or what??" Ran through my mind.

Reiki taster and tea

As she began the treatment, I firstly found my breathing became uncontrollable and panicked. She told me to just relax and focus on deep breathing. Then I experienced this truly intense headache, how I would imagine a migraine would feel, (have never experienced one.) She asked me if I felt heady as if she sensed this. She moved her hands to my knees and my feet and gave me the crystal I'd been looking at. I told her I like this one and she told me, "feel free to pick them up, I thought you wanted it." My headache eased of and she moved her hand over my heart. It was a really warm sensation flowing through your body and you almost feel like something is vibrating through you.

Selection of healing crystals

She continues to tell me I have a very strong heart Chakra, whatever that means. Tears began to stream down my face, "what is going on?" I thought. It was completely uncontrollable. She said it's OK it's a perfectly natural reaction. She  gave me a different crystal and put her hands back onto me knees and feet and the crying stopped. I began to feel more relaxed as she moved her hand around my body not always even making contact. I could still feel the her from her hands. The treatment had come to an end I was left feel relaxed yet slightly vulnerable.

If you want to learn more about Angelic Reiki or wish to see my practitioner, Julie has her own facebook page! CLICK HERE for the link.

She sat down and encouraged me to drink whilst we chatted. She told me that I was very sensitive. Not in the way of being over emotional, apparently because my heart is wide open I pick up on other peoples moods. What we discussed after I shall have to keep to myself as I'm afraid to bore you any long. I will say though it was scarily accurate to the point I was worried she could tell what I was thinking the whole time. (She assured me she could not.)
To conclude, although my Reiki experience wasn't exactly relaxing first time round, the sensation was powerful enough for me to book a full slot. I really enjoyed the history, mean and experience and I'm looking forward to continuing with my healing journey.